Recently, I’ve had several coaching clients and other people I know share that they’re in a state of overwhelm, thanks to endlessly busy schedules, rapidly changing priorities, and trying to keep pace with the achievement treadmill.
We run and run to chase down that next goal, the next compliment and what we think will bring us happiness or until we find a better way to be happy. We end up stressed and worried about avoiding burnout (or healing from it).
Hearing their feelings of futility as they face a seemingly never ending cycle makes me think of Ozzy Osbourne singing about “going off the rails on a crazy train” and feelings of powerlessness. We can shift away from these feelings of powerlessness through the critical art of rethinking and the neurological ways to reframe and rethink our perspectives.
Watching for Signs of Overwhelm
There are times when stress is a normal, healthy response. Other times it’s too much.
What are signs of overwhelm?
When people are overwhelmed, they often display a mix of emotional, cognitive and physical symptoms. These could include:
- Feeling forgetful or confused.
- Struggling to concentrate or focus, swept away by racing thoughts.
- Hesitating to make decisions.
- Making more mistakes than usual.
- Being consumed with negative emotions and worry.
- Feeling pessimistic or in survival mode.
- Not wanting to socialize with people.
- Sleeping too much or not well.
- Having low energy.
- Turning to drugs or alcohol to cope.
As leaders, it’s important to know not only how to gauge your own well-being but also how to recognize the signs of overwork in your organization. Prolonged overwork hurts creativity, productivity and work culture.
Breaking the Habit of Being Busy
When we encounter a problem, issue or new challenge we are each uniquely and instinctually programmed to default to fear and protection. Our brains are wired for survival, not happiness. We learn coping mechanisms and habits to overcome certain situations, making it very easy to get swept into chasing the tasks and goals. How can we build resiliency to better understand ourselves and the habits that interfere with our happiness and wellbeing?
Many folks describe getting used to a hectic schedule and normalizing the sacrifice of a personal life. It’s challenging to change if you get used to living in a constant state of urgency – the results are beliefs that get brittle long before our bones. It’s not sustainable for prolonged periods (and arguably it’s counterproductive, hurting physical and mental wellbeing, creativity and productivity).
The first step is to realize that each of us can exercise control over our schedules to build in whitespace to be mindful of ourselves. To be intentional. At Padraig, we use Eisenhower’s Decision Matrix to help our clients navigate overwhelm by determining what is urgent versus what is important.
Eisenhower’s Decision Matrix helps you sort out which things can be:
- urgent and important.
- not urgent but important.
- urgent but not important.
- not urgent and not important.
Pro tip: You can download our free time management worksheet to work through the Eisenhower Matrix.
Changing your Mindset to Counter Overwhelm
In addition to time management strategies like the Eisenhower Matrix, a shift in mindset is critical. Strengthening your emotional intelligence (which is also called emotional quotient or EQ for short) helps to overcome challenging situations and manage your responses to them.
Here are some steps to take to avoid (or heal from) overwhelm:
1. Get comfortable with doing less – and at times, nothing.
In Italy, “Dolce far niente” is a saying that means the sweetness of doing nothing. Do you feel guilty when you’re not constantly busy? When was the last time you enjoyed doing nothing? What will happen if you don’t keep up a hectic pace? Are you seeking the rush of endorphins from being on deadline? What will happen if you rest and practice self-care as much as you hustle?
We’re socially and institutionally trained to find the most efficient route, compare ourselves to others and boast about being busy. What are you missing? How do you decompress? How do you train yourself to be uncomfortable in discomfort?
2. Give yourself permission to say no.
Many times, folks end up on the busy treadmill because they don’t want to – or feel that they can’t – refuse more work. Learning how to set boundaries at work and delegate effectively takes practice. Ask yourself: What will happen if I say no? What will happen if I say yes? You can also say not now or negotiate adjusting your current work schedule to accommodate a new, more urgent request.
3. Consider how you evaluate your day’s work.
Some clients are very self-critical if they don’t accomplish everything or if they’re struggling. They plan for A,B, C in the morning and freak out that they didn’t get to A, B, C when they actually did E, F, G, H, I and J.
Notice how you talk to yourself. Is your self-talk motivating or berating? Are you expressing self-limiting beliefs? Are there signs you’re overwhelmed? Do you have any automatic negative thoughts? Do you use self-defeating language when you talk about your work? It’s important to make sure your inner critic is fairly assessing the situation.
4. Reflect on how you approach work-life balance.
What strategies do you have to achieve some balance between your personal and professional life? Some clients find it helpful to put their outside work activities and commitments into their calendar so that personal life has the same “weight” as professional.
At Padraig, we coaches use an assessment tool called Everything DiSC to help our clients understand themselves and others better. What’s interesting is that our personality style characteristics affect work-life balance. For example, some folks will pressure themselves to work longer hours than everyone else while others will grudgingly cancel plans if the boss expects a late night on short notice because they hate confrontation. How could a deeper understanding of yourself and others help you?
5. Develop your ability to recognize signs of overwhelm before you hit burnout so you can reframe.
I like to reference this like an alarm that goes off when things are becoming too much. Is your mind FULL or are you able to be mindful? Ideally, you want to reach the point that you notice early on when things are not normal so that you can adjust course.
We’re conditioned to panic and respond if an alarm sounds. Is there a real threat? Think metaphorically: is this threat a tiger, a bear or a mouse? What counter facts are there? What’s the narrative that you’re creating? Prime your brain to be positive, present and mindful.
A simple exercise is to breathe and take a moment. Acknowledge that you’re having X thought. Breathe. Okay, it’s overwhelming. What can I do? What’s actually at stake here? If you were just dropped off in the middle of a field, what would that first step look like? What if you’re okay just walking? Don’t worry that it might be the wrong direction. What do you need more of? Less of?
6. Recognize that rest is rejuvenating.
Leaving work on time, enjoying evenings and weekends and taking unplugged holidays (no checking your work email or taking calls!) should be the routine, not the exception.
If you keep going at top speed without a break, you risk getting sloppy and burning out. The science shows that brain breaks boost productivity. It’s important to pause after a big deadline and either celebrate or find the emotional courage to learn from mistakes. When was the last time you really unplugged? Took daily breaks? Celebrated after meeting a deadline?
Coach’s Questions
How do you currently approach being busy? Do you recognize any signs of overwhelm in yourself or others? What could you do to avoid or heal from overwhelm? What’s the first step you’ll take?
This week’s Coach’s Questions Blog is written by Padraig Coach, Ryan Quesnel.
