When it comes to workplace transformation, researchers emphasize the value of one interpersonal skill above all others: leading with empathy.
Leading with empathy means that leaders have the ability to sense, understand and share the feelings of someone else (not to be confused with sympathy, which is feeling sorry for someone else’s misfortune).
An empathetic leader can understand other people’s perspectives–even if they don’t agree with them or haven’t experienced them personally —and imagine what emotions they are experiencing. This helps them make informed, fair and compassionate decisions.
What the Research Says About Leading With Empathy
A recent study of 889 employees by Catalyst, a leader in research-backed insights into equity challenges in the workplace, found employees with empathetic leaders report faring much better than employees with leaders who lacked empathy in a variety of ways:
| Area Affected Positively | Employees with Empathetic Leaders | Employees with Leaders Who Weren’t Empathetic |
| Feeling more innovative | 61% | 13% |
| Feeling more engaged | 76% | 32% |
| Feeling able to navigate the demands of work and personal life | 86% | 60% |
| Feeling the workplace is inclusive | 50% | 17% |
| Feeling unlikely to leave the company | White women 57%Women of colour 62% | White women 14%Women of colour 30% |
Further, a study in Occupational Health Science cautions that incivility in the workplace stresses employees at work, and they take that home. Folks reported ruminating on stressors and frequently fighting insomnia, which negatively affects work performance and has a spillover effect on other family members.
This is backed by a study by researchers at Carleton University. They noted that workplace incivility is linked to:
- poorer job performance.
- higher levels of stress.
- difficulty paying attention, processing information and making decisions.
When the Carleton researchers surveyed 146 working mothers and their spouses, they learned that the spillover effect of even low-intensity incivility at work (not extreme abuse or harassment) includes feeling less effective as a parent.
Why Leading With Empathy Matters
When leaders are intentional about leading with empathy, team members and their organizations win big. They are more successful because employees are more innovative and engaged, plus empathy boosts inclusion, trust, collaboration and retention.
We know that inclusive and diverse workplaces are more successful and productive, fostering creativity and creating safe space for healthy conflict around ideas.
This is why empathy is much more than a soft skill. It is a critical leadership competency that enhances team performance and drives organizational success.
Think about the leaders you’ve encountered in your lifetime. Were they all equal in empathy? Likely not.
Some folks seem to have inborn empathy, while others lack this competency. It’s also possible to have too much empathy (just as we can have too much of any single factor of emotional intelligence), which then tends to lower other necessary skills. One example of what happens when you have too much empathy is that your decisiveness drops (it’s very hard to make tough decisions if you’re trying to keep everyone happy).
The good news is that it’s possible to learn skills to build stronger connections and trust.
Learning to Lead With Empathy
There are strategies we can employ and techniques we can learn, develop and practice to improve empathetic behaviours.
1. Initiate points of contact
Check in with your team members regularly, building trust to form strong relationships. Some leaders make a point of booking regular one-to-one meetings to create a solid culture of engaged employees.
2. Get to know the person
In your check-ins and meetings, ask people about their lives. “What did you do this weekend?” is one example. The more we get to know the person and see them as all the things they are (a parent, a fan of fiction, an avid golfer, etc.) rather than “just” Director of X or Manager of Y, then we start to understand them and see things from their perspective. That’s empathy.
3. Be present
Try to give your full attention to those around you. What do you notice? When you stop and pay attention, you become more aware of the nuances of expression. Just stopping to connect with others gives you an opportunity to see and hear how they’re doing.
4. Listen actively
As leaders, this means we have to clear our minds of other competing priorities and engage with team members authentically. Think about recent interactions. What kind of listener are you? Active listeners make eye contact, give others their full attention and listen with the intent to understand (not to reply!).
5. Think with deliberate empathy
As you talk with this person, and after, consider: If I were this person, in this position, what might I be thinking at this moment? How would I feel if I were this person? Do I understand their perspective? Be comfortable taking a few moments to think before you respond to what’s been shared with you. Sometimes people will say more when you are comfortable with moments of silence.
6. Replay
Take a moment to acknowledge and validate what’s been shared with you. Paraphrasing can show that you really heard what was said and allow for clarification if you’ve missed something. This can be a simple, “That sounds really tough. Is there anything else about this that you want me to know?” Take your cue from your team member–are they done sharing or do they want to share more?
7. Check your mood as you engage with others
Are you calm and composed? Confident and compassionate? Consistent and reliable? Pro tip: Developing your executive presence builds trust in your leadership.
8. Offer support as appropriate
There are times when just validating someone’s experience is enough. It might be good to have resources to offer, whether that’s information about the employee assistance plan for someone going through a bad time, suggestions for workshops or professional development to enhance skills or suggesting a mentor or coach for a challenging situation. When you understand someone’s struggles or point of view and respond with compassion, that’s empathy in action.
9. Keep healthy boundaries
Successful leaders find the balance between empathy and authority, extending compassion without overstepping. They also maintain high standards and keep expectations clear. And while you may sometimes have to make decisions that you recognize are going to be difficult for someone to accept, you can, at least, explain the decision in a way they might understand.
Leading with empathy is particularly effective when leaders have to manage change in the organization. Being able to acknowledge concerns as folks raise them and tailor communication to address worries builds trust.
When you choose to lead with empathy, it can also create a ripple effect throughout your workplace (much like building a coaching culture does).
Strong leadership sets the tone for others on the team, who will consciously and subconsciously adopt the behaviours they see modelled–particularly when they see that leading with empathy achieves positive results.
Coach’s Questions
Consider your empathetic leadership style. What actions can you take this week to be more empathetic? Are there ways you can encourage a culture of empathy? What strategies could you implement to strengthen your connections with team members? What benefits can you see for your team if you lead with empathy?
