That’s because we know that trust is the cornerstone to strong relationships, personally and professionally. When folks believe that coworkers – and especially their leaders – are reliable, working toward the same goals, supportive, truthful, capable and competent, the workplace is healthy and productive.
Where there are high levels of trust in an organization, you’ll find:
- Enthusiastic debate of ideas with plenty of dissenting opinions (at Padraig, we call this building good conflict)
- Discussion around decision-making (including ethics)
- Feelings of loyalty and belonging
- Lower stress levels
- Solid teamwork
- Good productivity levels
- High retention of employees
At Padraig, when we speak about trust in the workplace, we often clarify that we’re talking about vulnerability-based trust, not predictive trust. These are terms used by Patrick Lencioni in his best-seller, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.
Predictive Trust
The important distinction is that predictive trust is the basic level of trust many people think of when we use the word, “trust.” It means we trust that we can predict someone’s actions. We can “trust” that the other driver will stay in their lane; we “trust” that our colleague won’t steal our laptop if we leave it on our desk, etcetera. These are pretty basic types of trust that keep society functioning at a basic level.
Vulnerability-Based Trust
However, vulnerability-based trust, which is essential for a workplace to thrive, means trusting someone’s motives and intentions. It means that we trust our colleagues’ motives – when someone criticizes our idea, they’re doing it because they think collectively we can take a better approach – their intention is not to make us look bad. Vulnerability-based trust means we feel safe to acknowledge we made a mistake and that we need help, knowing our colleagues will step up and help us – and that they won’t use this against us down the road.
Three Things that Drive Trust
According to the Harvard Business Review, there are three things that drive trust:
- Authenticity, meaning that actions match values
- Logic, specifically faith in judgment and competence
- Empathy, believing that you care about them
And while we wholeheartedly agree with those drivers, at Padraig we add a fourth: Humanity. By that we mean that we see people not just as their job title but as another complex multi-faceted person alongside us. That ties in with authenticity and empathy but goes to the root of things. To build humanity as a driver means getting to know our boss, our colleagues and our staff as human beings beyond their role or job-title.
For example, we may know that Fred is the VP of Product Design and we “trust” him to be highly capable in that role. And, we can “trust” that Fred will be the first to raise concerns about costs in the meeting (predictive trust). But, if we know Fred on a personal level, and we know that he and his husband have adopted two kids who are the light of their lives, and that Fred spends weekends coaching his daughter’s soccer team, then we start to see Fred not just as a robotic VP who always complains about costs but as a person with a lot going on in his life. If we get to know him further, we may learn that he was once the Director of a major project in a firm where the VP of Design overspent and caused the firm to go into creditor protection. Fred lost his job along with an investment when the company went under. We might now look at Fred not just as ‘predictably worrying about money’ but instead as someone who has seen how a company loses sight of expenses and ends up costing the employees their future.
When Trust is Broken
Where there are human beings, there is the potential for unhealthy conflict that can undermine trust. It’s frequently the result of miscommunications, misunderstandings or conflict. Sometimes it’s thoughtlessness, other times a mistake or perhaps even intentional betrayal that causes an issue in the workplace.
Some of the signs of destructive workplace conflict include gossip, triangulation, putting your own career aspirations ahead of what is best for the organization and exaggerating circumstances to make someone else look bad. Not surprisingly, often when there is mistrust or broken trust at work, it’s because the individual’s authenticity, competence or empathy is in question.
We’ve written before about how to handle an office betrayal. It’s a subject that many clients have raised with our executive leadership coaches. In some cases, their colleagues weren’t even aware they felt betrayed until they decided to have a conversation about what happened.
Sometimes, it’s clear where trust was broken. Other times, it’s less clear, but the concerns are just as valid and will take time and effort to understand. And, depending on the issue, some breaches are easier to repair than others.
What to Do When Trust is Broken
It’s not easy for a leader to rebuild trust, and it takes sincere effort and patience because people are wary of being misused or betrayed a second time.
There are some people who are particularly hard to win back, and there are folks who do not believe in giving anyone a second chance. If you’re a leader who is responsible for a breakdown in trust, the best thing you can do is take the initiative to acknowledge the break and attempt to repair it.
Here’s how to rebuild trust:
1. Seek to Understand what Went Wrong
We often talk about listening to understand, not to respond. In this case, it’s very important to understand the situation. If you broke trust with someone, you need to be able to see the situation from their perspective. Ask questions and listen, collecting information to help your understanding. As executive coaches, we find that resolving conflict often starts with understanding the why. It can be helpful to remember that other people’s perspectives are valid to them, even if you might have had a different understanding of a situation.
2. Acknowledge the Breakdown in Trust
Whoever broke trust has to openly take responsibility for the role they played (no excuses!), and take accountability for working to restore trust. Don’t ignore the discomfort, figuring that the other person knows what went wrong and they know you know it, so it’s not worth discussing. It has to be spoken about. Do not try to downplay the incident (or series of incidents); it’s essential that the broken trust is treated as a valid concern that is being taken seriously. Part of having this difficult (or essential) conversation is listening to how the breakdown in trust has affected others. Validate their experience and acknowledge their feelings.
3. Make a Sincere Apology
Knowing when to apologize is important, but how to apologize effectively is critical. A good apology is sincere, full of empathy, takes accountability (without laying blame or making excuses), acknowledges the impact of actions and offers to make reparation. There is also no guarantee that the apology will be accepted at that time. The apology is for the recipient, not the person apologizing.
4. Identify Corrective Actions
Ask the colleague(s) affected by the breach in trust what would help to remedy what happened. This is going to vary, depending on the situation. In this case, it’s important to understand from those affected what they feel would rectify the situation. It may also be extremely helpful to identify what steps will prevent this from happening again in the future.
5. Work to Earn Trust Back
This is when it’s time to walk to the talk. If there have been discussions about what is needed for reparation, intentional efforts to put this into action will demonstrate goodwill in this regard. Consistent behaviour is important, as is transparency and open communication. Check-ins can be helpful to rebuild confidence and allay any lingering doubts.
6. Give it Time
Rebuilding trust can’t be rushed. While the person who broke trust might feel keen to make things better and move forward, the colleague’s boundaries have to be respected. Trust is rebuilt through consistent action over time.
Sometimes, despite someone’s best efforts, it can be really hard to find a way forward after a breakdown in trust.
In situations like this, it can be helpful to seek help finding a solution. Just be careful that any efforts for mediation or problem-solving don’t come across as gossiping or complaining about the colleague! Keep the focus on how to move forward.
If there are still trust issues after some time has passed, and you’re still struggling with how to rebuild trust, it might be time to engage the services of a mediator who can help to work through outstanding issues.
Don’t give up! There are ways to build trust on a team.
Coach’s Questions
What experiences have you had previously with broken trust? How can you take the initiative to rebuild trust after a breakdown? What would help support this process?
