When making introductions, a leader mistakenly uses a trans woman’s former male first name. There’s no malice; the leader accidentally “deadnamed” the team member to a guest after decades of working together. But instead of saying smoothly, "Oh, my mistake. I meant to say this is so-and-so," the leader outs the colleague as transgender.
During an online meeting, one team member hesitates when referring to another participant because she remembers there was a pronoun preference but can’t remember what exactly. It’s an awkward moment made far worse when she says carelessly, “He/she/they—or whatever.”
When a visiting nonbinary client who needs a bio break asks to use the facilities, an administrative assistant awkwardly pauses, then says the men’s room is to the left or the ladies’ room is to the right.
Clumsy stumbles, insensitive responses and not having inclusive options are frequent occurrences, and they matter more than many leaders may realize.
- According to a national survey by Egale Canada, 72 percent of Two-Spirit, trans and non-binary workers report that they have experienced discrimination in the workplace.
- The 2SLGBTQI+ Action Plan Survey by the Government of Canada reports that 70 percent of transgender workers experience inappropriate behaviour on the job—compared to just 22 percent of cisgender (those whose gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth) respondents.
- This finding is backed by research by the Canadian Labour Congress (CLC), which found that almost 75 percent of gender-diverse respondents said they experienced sexual harassment and violence at work.
- Worry about discrimination is another concern. Nearly 75 percent of trans and non-binary job seekers report that they hide or minimize their identity when they’re looking for work. Almost 50 percent of respondents said they had quit a job because they didn’t feel accepted.
These statistics quantify how far many workplaces are from providing a gender-inclusive workplace. It indicates how many folks don’t feel safe to speak up at work, contribute or even stay.
Our sense from clients is that most leaders want to create a gender-inclusive and welcoming environment. They just aren’t sure how, especially when they might get a checklist of things to do rather than how to approach the topic of diversity, equity and inclusion.
Why Gender Inclusivity Is a Leadership Issue, Not an HR One
Inclusion requires more than policies put into place. It requires a culture shaped by intentional leadership.
Human Resources professionals design frameworks, but it takes effective leadership to bring the outcomes to life.
A gender-inclusive workplace can’t be mandated. Everyday behaviours like those below are what create the culture and environment to sustain what’s been identified as important in the policies.
- Who gets heard (or ignored).
- Who gets interrupted (or invited to speak).
- Whose identity is respected (or stifled or shunned).
You can see how practice can encourage or undermine what makes a gender-inclusive workplace.
When leaders actively strive to foster a gender-inclusive workplace, everyone benefits. Intentional leadership helps create space where everyone feels safe to show up fully and authentically because diversity and cultural intelligence are seen as strengths.
Organizations with diverse leadership teams and a strong sense of psychological safety outperform competitors in innovation, decision-making, employee engagement and retention of top talent.
Start with Language (Because Everyone Notices)
Language and culture are linked, with language evolving to keep pace with shifts in things like values or societal norms.
When we make changes to the vocabulary that we choose to use and update terminology so it’s more reflective of inclusivity and social justice, culture shifts faster than it does through training.
Small changes can be significant. For example:
- Using a salutation such as everyone, folks or team instead of ladies and gentlemen.
- Selecting non-gendered idioms or phrases (for example, be brave or strong instead of urging team members to man up).
- Sharing your own pronouns in introductions, on email signatures, alongside your name on video conference calls or on name badges for events.
- Inviting people to share their pronouns rather than making assumptions.
- Choosing gender neutral terms such as chair instead of chairman or worker instead of workman.
It’s also helpful to learn and remember the names of your team members. It’s always nice to be addressed or referred to by name rather than pronoun in a conversation. “I like the point raised by Silya, though I see what Hugh meant about challenges.”
These aren’t merely performative gestures; they are cues. It indicates to everyone that they can fully present themselves safely. They don’t have to take a risk and correct the pronoun you use for them (or stay quiet, uncomfortably).
When leaders consistently model how to use inclusive language, their teams follow. Inclusive language becomes the norm.
When You Get It Wrong (Inevitably)
You will make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, and that includes leaders.
What’s important is how you handle mistakes and move past them.
When it comes to gender-inclusive language mistakes, keep it simple.
- Acknowledge quickly, “I’m sorry.”
- Correct what you said, e.g. “They led the project.”
- Move on.
- If you know you've made a mistake (perhaps you see a look on someone's face) or you are simply unsure how to proceed, ask with generosity for yourself and for the others watching: "I'm sorry. I think I misspoke but I'm unsure how to do better. Could you give me guidance?"
Do not:
- Over-apologize.
- Explain your intentions (give a monologue about how you want to create a gender-inclusive workplace).
- Discuss your discomfort (which makes the moment about you).
Remember that, as a leader, vulnerability based trust is foundational for your team. When you can quickly recover from a misstep with respect (and not defensiveness), you build trust.
Do Your Own Homework
Intentional, inclusive leadership requires self-education.
It’s not the responsibility of transgender or nonbinary employees to educate you or their peers. Effective leaders will take ownership of their learning and listen to employees who share their perspectives freely with them.
Make time to learn about the experiences of transgender and nonbinary people from research articles, books and online resources written by transgender and nonbinary experts. (Like this guide for Federal Public Service workers in Canada, which is recommended to help allies feel more informed and stronger in allyship.)
Some leaders find it helpful to have the mindset to ask or seek information rather than assume.
Frameworks like the COACH Approach to leadership reinforce this:
- Stay curious.
- Check your assumptions.
- Seek clarity from reliable resources.
The more informed you are, the more confident you will be in your leadership.
As executive coaches, we see this reflected in the stages of leadership. We talk about Leading Self, then Leading Others and then Leading Organizations. When you do your own work first, that shifts how you show up for others and then that changes the system.
Lead Meetings That Make Room for Everyone
Your leadership during meetings can make inclusion visible to your team through small (but intentional) facilitation choices.
- Invite—but don’t force—pronoun sharing in introductions. Model it by introducing yourself and stating your own pronouns.
- Include pronouns on name tags, virtual profiles and email signatures.
- Model respectful and inclusive language consistently.
- Gently correct misgendering in the moment when you are certain of the pronouns someone prefers: “Just a quick note—Sam uses they/them.”
Inclusion is shaping the environment so that everyone feels psychological safety and belonging.
Consider Intersectionality
Gender identity rarely exists in isolation.
An employee’s experience is often also shaped by race, disability, culture and socioeconomic background or status.
For example, a transgender employee who is Indigenous may face layered barriers that differ from others.
As a leader, it’s helpful to recognize complexity and the intersection of identities. Consider the whole person so that you avoid one-size-fits-all solutions. Otherwise, you could exclude the people you want to support.
Back It Up with Action
Intentional leadership is vital but still requires supportive systems to sustain it. Align policies and initiatives with the stated values that will create a gender-inclusive workplace.
This could include things like:
- Ensuring dress code policies are not restricted to gender norms.
- Providing accessible, gender-neutral washrooms.
- Establishing internal Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) where transgender and nonbinary folks can connect, share resources and advocate for organizational changes.
- Offer healthcare benefits that support diverse health needs, including funding for hormone therapy and gender-affirming surgeries.
- Conduct regular climate assessments to understand the experiences of transgender and nonbinary employees (and others) in the workplace.
Each of these initiatives builds trust because employees see an alignment between what leaders say and what the organization does.
Celebrate (But Don’t Perform)
Marking moments like Trans Day of Visibility or Trans Awareness Month can be meaningful—but only if it is authentic—part of everyday culture in your workplace.
Employees can tell the difference between commitment and a performance. A single post doesn’t build trust but consistent, daily interactions will.
Leading with intention in gender inclusivity doesn’t mean you have all the answers.
It means you show up with self-awareness, humility, and consistency (sometimes in the smallest of moments!).
Folks will remember how it felt to work with you, how your leadership shaped the workplace culture and whether you helped create a gender-inclusive workplace.
COACH'S QUESTIONS:
- Where in your week do you have the most influence over workplace culture — and how intentional are you about it?
- When was the last time you got something wrong about a colleague's identity, and how did you handle it? What would you do differently next time?
- If a transgender or nonbinary member of your team described your organization to a friend, what do you hope they'd say? What would they actually say?
What's one structural change — a policy, a practice or a meeting habit — you could champion this quarter?
